Baptisms, Weddings and Funerals

Anyone can get in touch with a church to find about having you/your child baptised with water. It’s the start of an amazing journey of faith for you/your child and a special day for all your friends and family.

Thank you for thinking of St Stephen’s for you or your child’s Baptism. Fuller information on Baptism in the Church of England (CofE) can be found here.

Christian Baptism at St Stephen’s
Your child is precious to you and precious to God. You want the very best for them, and so does God. You want them to make right choices in life, for themselves and for others. A baptism is just the beginning of this and so much more.

Over the years to come, it’s a journey you’ll share together with your child by:

• Being there for your child to talk to about the bigger questions of life – questions about hope, faith and love.
• Praying for your child through the ups and downs of their faith journey.
• Showing them practically how to make those good choices in life.
• Helping them to learn more about their Christian faith, through their church and in other ways.

We believe it is important that baptisms take place in the church that is significant for you/your child’s faith journey – typically where you have come to faith or intend to nurture the child in their faith through Sunday School etc. If you don’t live in the parish then, as a matter of courtesy, we will speak to the Vicar of your parish church to inform them of your intention to be baptised at St Stephen’s. We will also meet with you as parents or as the candidate to talk through this implications of this decision and to answer any questions you have.

When do baptisms take place?
These would usually be on a Sunday as part of our worship service or shortly afterwards. By arrangement, with sufficient notice, it may be possible to have a baptism service on other days.

Do parents need to be baptised to have their child baptised ?
You can have your child baptized regardless of whether or not you, the parents, are baptised. It is only the godparents who are required to be baptised, (so the only time a parent would have to be baptised is if they were also acting as a godparent).

What about Godparents ?
Choosing the right people as godparents for your child is a big decision.  Here are some key things which might help you decide:

• Godparents will be people who’ll be in touch with your family for many years to come. They may be relatives or friends of the family.
• They’ll be people who you know you can trust and who’ll be there for your child to talk about the bigger questions in life; questions about faith, hope and love.
• They should feel ready to make some big promises about faith for your child in church.
• Every child should have at least three godparents, two of the same sex and at least one of the opposite sex to your child. Although there is no official maximum number of godparents, three or four is usual. If you’d like more than that, talk to us about the practicalities and we’ll be pleased to advise.
• Parents may be godparents for their own children, providing they have at least one other godparent.
• Because of the very special role they have in supporting your child’s faith journey, godparents must be baptized themselves. Ideally they should be confirmed too, but check with the vicar about local policy on this.
• If you’re thinking about asking someone who is under 18 to be a godparent, talk to your vicar first. There’s no minimum age for godparents, but they must be mature enough to understand the responsibilities they’re taking on; your vicar can help you decide if this is the right choice for your child and the young godparent

What will the candidate for Baptism be given ?
Each candidate will receive a Baptism Candle a certificate and a small gift. Details of the service are recorded in the baptism register and we may wish to keep in touch with you so you’ll be asked to complete a GDPR form.

Fees and charges
There are no fees for Baptism but St Stephen’s asks for voluntary donations from people at the service.

These can be made by cash, credit card or Cheque (payable to St Stephen’s Steeton Church Council);  or by bank transfer to 40-26-01 Account number 20724572 please give as reference Baptism  followed by name of candidate.

Thank you for thinking of St Stephen’s for your wedding. Marrying in church is personal, meaningful and spiritual just as you want it to be. Churches are special and unique places to get married in – the prayers, promises and the whole service of celebration become part of your marriage, on the day itself and beyond. At the moment the Church of England (CofE) only authorises it’s clergy to conduct weddings and blessings for opposite cis-gendered couples (i.e. a man and a woman).

Qualifying to be married at St Stephen’s
Here at St Stephen’s  we would be delighted to discuss with you what is involved for a church wedding  We are governed by regulations for marriage set by the CofE and it is necessary for a qualifying connection to the parish to be established.

You will need to show evidence of one of the following for the prospective bride or groom:

1. lives in the parish; is on the church’s electoral roll
2. has at any time lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months
3. was baptised in the parish; was prepared for confirmation in the parish
4. has habitually attended normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months (this means you can build your own qualifying connection by coming along to church services for 6 months)
5. Or 5. one of you or your partner’s  parents (at any time after you were born) has- lived in the parish for a period of at least 6 months
6. Has habitually attended normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months
7. Or 7. One of you or your partner’s parents or grandparents was married in the parish.

To check if you live in the parish of St Stephen’s Steeton you can enter your postcode into the following site and discover the parish in which you are resident. This should be the first thing you do before making an enquiry. Click here to find out. https://www.achurchnearyou.com/

If you would like to ask about marriage at St Stephen’s then please contact us. We will want to meet with you both to discuss why marriage at St Stephen’s is right for you and to see passport ID relating to you and evidence of your address such as a council tax/utility bill. We will also spend time discussing what marriage means as part of your Wedding preparation. Additional discussion and paperwork will apply if either of you has been previously married and divorced or is not a UK national.

For more about weddings in the CofE click here.

Please note that St Stephen’s Church does not have bells that peel or a choir.

The responsibility for printing your order of service and arranging flowers is yours and needs to be done in relation with us for approval.

Fees and charges 2021
Fees and charges are set by the national church (CofE) and local elements by the PCC. These are reviewed annually and may increase slightly if your marriage takes place after 2021.

• Organist (if required) £75
• Right to film (if needed) £100
• Certificate of Banns (needed if marrying in another church but resident in Steeton parish) £15
• Verger £35
• Heating/lighting £80
• Publication of Banns £31
• Marriage service £464

A non-refundable deposit of £200 will need to be paid at the time of your booking which will be offset against your final invoice which will need to be paid in full one month before your ceremony takes place.

Payment can be made by Cheque to St Stephen’s Steeton Church Council or by bank transfer to:
Account number: 81497464  
Sort code: 40-26-01
Reference: Wedding Service (followed by your surname)
Please confirm by email using the contact form below, once this has been done.

What does a church marriage involve?
St Stephen’s is not just a place to hire for a ceremony you may have written or have seen in the movies. Marriage services (See Appendix One below) have the dignity afforded by the liturgy of the CofE for such occasions- although we will do our best to try to incorporate music and readings that add personal meaning for you where we can.

Appendix One: The Marriage Service ↑

¶    Pastoral Introduction

A wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and gave there a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.

Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and to share in the care and upbringing of children. For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.

On this their wedding day the bride and bridegroom face each other, make their promises and receive God’s blessing. You are witnesses of the marriage, and express your support by your presence and your prayers. Your support does not end today: the couple will value continued encouragement in the days and years ahead of them.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13.4-7

The Welcome

The minister welcomes the people using these or other appropriate words

God is love, and those who live in love live in God

and God lives in them.

1 John 4.16

This prayer may be said

All   God of wonder and of joy:

grace comes from you,

and you alone are the source of life and love.

Without you, we cannot please you;

without your love, our deeds are worth nothing.

Send your Holy Spirit,

and pour into our hearts

   that most excellent gift of love,

that we may worship you now

with thankful hearts

and serve you always with willing minds;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

A hymn may be sung.

Preface

In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

we have come together

to witness the marriage of N and N,

to pray for God’s blessing on them,

to share their joy

and to celebrate their love.

Marriage is a gift of God in creation

through which husband and wife may know the grace of God.

It is given

that as man and woman grow together in love and trust,

they shall be united with one another in heart, body and mind,

as Christ is united with his bride, the Church.

The gift of marriage brings husband and wife together

in the delight and tenderness of sexual union

and joyful commitment to the end of their lives.

It is given as the foundation of family life

in which children are [born and] nurtured

and in which each member of the family,

in good times and in bad,

may find strength, companionship and comfort,

and grow to maturity in love.

Marriage is a way of life made holy by God,

and blessed by the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ

with those celebrating a wedding at Cana in Galilee.

Marriage is a sign of unity and loyalty

which all should uphold and honour.

It enriches society and strengthens community.

No one should enter into it lightly or selfishly

but reverently and responsibly in the sight of almighty God.

N and N are now to enter this way of life.

They will each give their consent to the other

and make solemn vows,

and in token of this they will [each] give and receive a ring.

We pray with them that the Holy Spirit will guide and strengthen them,

that they may fulfil God’s purposes

for the whole of their earthly life together.

The Declarations

The minister says to the congregation

First, I am required to ask anyone present who knows a reason

why these persons may not lawfully marry, to declare it now.

The minister says to the couple

The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God,

who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts;

therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry,

you must declare it now.

The minister says to the bridegroom

N, will you take N to be your wife?

Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her,

and, forsaking all others,

be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

He answers

I will.

The minister says to the bride

N, will you take N to be your husband?

Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him,

and, forsaking all others,

be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

She answers

I will.

The minister says to the congregation

Will you, the families and friends of N and N,

support and uphold them in their marriage

now and in the years to come?

All   We will.

The Collect

The minister invites the people to pray, silence is kept and the minister says the Collect

God our Father,

from the beginning

you have blessed creation with abundant life.

Pour out your blessings upon N and N,

that they may be joined in mutual love and companionship,

in holiness and commitment to each other.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ your Son,

who is alive and reigns with you,

in the unity of the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and for ever.

All   Amen.

Readings

At least one reading from the Bible is used.

A selection of readings is found here.

Sermon

¶    The Marriage

A hymn may be sung.

The couple stand before the minister.

The Vows

The minister introduces the vows in these or similar words

N and N, I now invite you to join hands and make your vows,

in the presence of God and his people.

The bride and bridegroom face each other.

The bridegroom takes the bride’s right hand in his.

These words are used

or those here may be used

I, N, take you, N,

to be my wife,

to have and to hold

from this day forward;

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

till death us do part;

according to God’s holy law.

In the presence of God I make this vow.

They loose hands.

The bride takes the bridegroom’s right hand in hers, and says

I, N, take you, N,

to be my husband,

to have and to hold

from this day forward;

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish,

till death us do part;

according to God’s holy law.

In the presence of God I make this vow.

They loose hands.

The Giving of Rings

The minister receives the ring(s), and says this prayer

or the prayer here

Heavenly Father, by your blessing

let these rings be to N and N

a symbol of unending love and faithfulness,

to remind them of the vow and covenant

which they have made this day

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All   Amen.

The bridegroom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride’s left hand and, holding it there, says

N, I give you this ring

as a sign of our marriage.

With my body I honour you,

all that I am I give to you,

and all that I have I share with you,

within the love of God,

Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

If rings are exchanged, they loose hands and the bride places a ring on the fourth finger of the bridegroom’s left hand and, holding it there, says

N, I give you this ring

as a sign of our marriage.

With my body I honour you,

all that I am I give to you,

and all that I have I share with you,

within the love of God,

Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

If only one ring is used, before they loose hands the bride says

N, I receive this ring

as a sign of our marriage.

With my body I honour you,

all that I am I give to you,

and all that I have I share with you,

within the love of God,

Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The Proclamation

The minister addresses the people

In the presence of God, and before this congregation,

N and N have given their consent

and made their marriage vows to each other.

They have declared their marriage by the joining of hands

and by the giving and receiving of rings.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

The minister joins their right hands together and says

Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.

The Blessing of the Marriage

The husband and wife kneel. The minister may use the following blessing

or one of those here.

Blessed are you, O Lord our God,

for you have created joy and gladness,

pleasure and delight, love, peace and fellowship.

Pour out the abundance of your blessing

upon N and N in their new life together.

Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts

and a crown upon their heads.

Bless them in their work and in their companionship;

awake and asleep,

in joy and in sorrow,

in life and in death.

Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that banquet

where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home.

We ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and for ever.

All   Amen.

The minister says to the couple

God the Father,

God the Son,

God the Holy Spirit,

bless, preserve and keep you;

the Lord mercifully grant you the riches of his grace,

that you may please him both in body and soul,

and, living together in faith and love,

may receive the blessings of eternal life.

All   Amen.

Registration of the Marriage

A hymn or psalm may be used (see here).

Prayers

Faithful God,

holy and eternal,

source of life and spring of love,

we thank and praise you for bringing N and N to this day,

and we pray for them.

Lord of life and love:

All   hear our prayer.

May their marriage be life-giving and life-long,

enriched by your presence and strengthened by your grace;

may they bring comfort and confidence to each other

in faithfulness and trust.

Lord of life and love:

All   hear our prayer.

May the hospitality of their home

bring refreshment and joy to all around them;

may their love overflow to neighbours in need

and embrace those in distress.

Lord of life and love:

All   hear our prayer.

May they discern in your word

order and purpose for their lives;

and may the power of your Holy Spirit

lead them in truth and defend them in adversity.

Lord of life and love:

All   hear our prayer.

May they nurture their family with devotion,

see their children grow in body, mind and spirit

and come at last to the end of their lives

with hearts content and in joyful anticipation of heaven.

Lord of life and love:

All   hear our prayer.

The prayers conclude with the Lord’s Prayer.

Let us pray with confidence as our Saviour has taught us

All   Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

thy will be done;

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation;

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

the power and the glory,

for ever and ever.

Amen.

A hymn may be sung.

The Dismissal

The minister says

God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love,

defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace;

and the blessing of God almighty,

the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

be among you and remain with you always.

All   Amen

Thank you for thinking of St Stephen’s for your wedding blessing or renewal of vows. At the moment the CofE only authorises it’s clergy to conduct blessings and renewal of vows for opposite cis-gendered couples (i.e a man and a woman).

Why St Stephen’s
Unlike a marriage, blessings and renewal of vows have no legal standing and thus do not require the need to establish a formal connection with St Stephen’s but we would like to talk to you about why St Stephen’s is the right place for this ceremony.

We would like to meet with you both and see passport ID relating to you and your marriage certificate.

Please note that St Stephen’s Church does not have bells that peel or a choir.

The responsibility for printing your order of service and arranging flowers is yours and needs to be done in relation with our approval.

What does a blessing or vows renewal involve?
St Stephen’s is not just a place to hire for a ceremony you may have written or have seen in the movies. Wedding blessing and vow renewals have the dignity afforded by the liturgy of the Church of England for such occasions- although we will do our best to try to incorporate music and readings that add personal meaning for you where we can.

The Church of England is clear that this is NOT A WEDDING. This means:

• Husband and wife are to enter the church together ’ without ceremony’.
• No ‘Wedding March’ music to be used.
• No rings to be given or received. Rings worn on the hands can be blessed by extending hands to the Vicar.
• The liturgy should be based on that for Thanksgiving for marriage in Common Worship (see Appendix one below)

Fees and charges 2021
Fees and charges are set by the PCC. These are reviewed annually and may increase slightly if your ceremony takes place after 2021.

• Organist (if required) £75
• Right to film (if needed) £100
• Verger £35
• Heating/lighting £80
• Officiating the service £253

A non-refundable deposit of £200 will need to be paid at the time of your booking which will be offset against your final invoice which will need to be paid in full one month before your ceremony takes place.

Payment can be made by Cheque to St Stephen’s Steeton Church Council or by bank transfer to:
Account number: 81497464  
Sort code: 40-26-01
Reference: Wedding Blessing (followed by your surname)
Please confirm by email using the contact form below when this has been done.

Appendix One: Thanksgiving for Marriage

The Welcome

The minister welcomes the people, introduces the service informally and invites those present to pray.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the love of God,

and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit

be with you

All   and also with you.

This sentence may be used

God is love, and those who live in love live in God

and God lives in them.

1 John 4.16

Prayer of Preparation

God our Father,

you have taught us through your Son

that love is the fulfilling of the law;

grant to your servants N and N

that, loving one another,

they may continue in your love until their lives’ end;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All   Amen.

A hymn or song may be sung.

Preface

We have come together in the presence of God

to give thanks [with N and N] for [… years of ] married life,

[to ask his forgiveness for all that has been amiss,]†

to rejoice together and to ask for God’s blessing.

As our Lord Jesus Christ was himself a guest

at the wedding in Cana of Galilee,

so through his Spirit he is with us now.

Marriage is a gift of God in creation

and a means of his grace;

it is given that a husband and wife

may comfort and help each other,

living faithfully together

in times of need as well as in plenty,

in sadness and in joy, in sickness and in health;

it is given that with delight and tenderness

they may know each other in love.

[It is given as the foundation of family life

in which children may be born and nurtured

in accordance with God’s will, to his praise and glory.]

In marriage a couple belong together

and live life in the community;

it is a way of life created and hallowed by God,

that all should honour.

Therefore we pray with them

that, strengthened and guided by God,

they may continue to fulfil his purpose for their life together.

†  There may be occasions when this should be omitted; it may be important to include it when a couple are celebrating their reconciliation.

Silence is kept for reflection on the years that have passed and on shared experiences, good and bad.

Readings and Sermon

One or more passages from the Bible is read.

Psalms or hymns may follow the readings. Other songs and readings may be used.

A sermon may be preached.

¶    Renewal of Vows

The minister says to the couple(s)

I invite you now to recall the vows that you made at your wedding.

Husband and wife face each other and hold hands.

The husband says

I, N, took you, N, to be my wife;

The wife says

I, N, took you, N, to be my husband;

The couple say together

to have and to hold from that day forward,

for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,

till death us do part, according to God’s holy law,

and this was our solemn vow.

Today, in the presence of our family and friends,

we affirm our continuing commitment to this vow.

The minister says to the congregation

Will you, the family and friends of N and N,

continue to support and uphold them

in their marriage now and in the years to come?

All   We will.

The Rings

If a new ring (or new rings) is to be blessed, this prayer may be used

Heavenly Father, source of everlasting love,

revealed to us in Jesus Christ and poured into our hearts through your Holy Spirit;

that love which many waters cannot quench, neither the floods drown;

that love which is patient and kind, enduring all things without end;

by your blessing, let these rings be to N and N

symbols to remind them of the covenant made on their wedding day,

through your grace in the love of your Son

and in the power of your Spirit.

All   Amen.

Or, if not, each may touch the wedding ring(s) with the words

I gave you this ring

as a sign of our marriage.

With my body I honour you,

all that I am I give to you,

and all that I have I share with you,

within the love of God,

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Prayers

The couple kneel together. The minister or others may pray, using these or similar prayers

God the Father,

God the Son,

God the Holy Spirit,

bless, preserve and keep you;

the Lord mercifully grant you the riches of his grace

that you may please him both in body and soul,

and, living together in faith and love,

may receive the blessings of eternal life.

All   Amen.

Blessed are you, heavenly Father.

All   You give joy to husband and wife.

Blessed are you, Lord Jesus Christ.

All   You have brought new life to mankind.

Blessed are you, Holy Spirit of God.

All   You bring us together in love.

Blessed be Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

All   One God, to be praised for ever. Amen.

Almighty God, our heavenly Father,

we lift up our hearts to you

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Through him you have made a covenant of grace with your people

by the outpouring of your Holy Spirit.

We praise you for the gift of marriage

in which the love of husband and wife is brought together

and reflects your plan of love for the world.

We thank you today for N and N,

and for leading them to each other

in friendship and love, commitment and trust,

and for bringing them here for the blessing of their marriage.

Living God,

by the presence of your Holy Spirit,

may they know the risen Christ to be with them now,

as they celebrate this covenant together.

May their lives be a witness to your saving love

in this troubled world.

As you pour out your love,

may they grow together in your sight,

and each be to the other

a companion in joy, a comfort in sorrow and a strength in need.

As you blessed the earthly home at Nazareth

with the presence of your Son,

may their home be a place of security and peace.

[Bless this couple with the gift and care of children,

that they may grow up to know and love you in your Son.]

And bring us all at the last

to that great marriage banquet of your Son

in our home in heaven,

where, with all your saints and angels,

in the glory of your presence,

we will for ever praise you;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All   Amen.

The Lord’s Prayer

Let us pray with confidence as our Saviour has taught us

All   Our Father, who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

thy will be done;

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation;

but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

the power and the glory

for ever and ever.

Amen.

The Dismissal

The couple may pray together

Heavenly Father,

we offer you our souls and bodies,

our thoughts and words and deeds,

our love for one another.

Unite our wills in your will,

that we may grow together

in love and peace

all the days of our life;

through Jesus Christ our Lord.

All   Amen.

The minister blesses the couple and the congregation, saying

God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love,

defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace;

and the blessing of God almighty,

the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

be among you and remain with you always.

All   Amen.

Here at St Stephen’s we work closely with you and your appointed undertakers to ensure a thoughtful and dignified service.

Options available to you
Here at St Stephen’s we are able to conduct a funeral or memorial service in the church or a short committal service for cremated remains in our consecrated memorial garden to the right of  the main church door (this area is unmarked). Our ministers will also preside at services in local crematoria or Steeton graveyard for which specific charges will be made in line with CofE table of fees.

Fees and charges 2021 (there are no charges for funeral services relating to a person under 18 years of age)
Fees and charges are set by the national church (CofE) and local elements by the PCC. These are reviewed annually and may increase slightly if the service takes place after 2021.

Funeral Services in Church
Organist (if required ) £65, Verger £35, Heating/lighting £80, Officiating the service £199.00

Memorial Service in church
Organist (if required ) £65, Verger £35, Heating/lighting £80, Officiating the service  £199.00

Burial of cremated remains in consecrated memorial garden (committal only)
Officiating the service £166.00